March 29: Standing at the Foot of the Cross

by Abby Mohaupt

John 19:25b-30

Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, "Woman, here is your son." Then he said to the disciple, "Here is your mother." And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home. 

After this, when Jesus knew that all was now finished, he said (in order to fulfill the scripture), "I am thirsty." A jar full of sour wine was standing there. So they put a sponge full of the wine on a branch of hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the wine, he said, "It is finished."

Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

***

I can't imagine what it would be like to be Jesus, nailed to a cross on a hill, in agony.

I can imagine what it would be like to someone who loves someone in deep pain... only able to watch and wait. But what would it feel like to be someone at the foot of the cross, looking up at a man you've loved and believed in? 

Today, just coming to the noon hour, I'm wondering what Mary Magdalene was thinking. Maybe this:

Jesus, you said you’d save us. I believed you—because you saved me.

When I couldn’t think or live or survive---when I was consumed by demons—you saved me.

I felt you call my demons out, and I followed you—finally healed, finally whole.

                        I left my home and my family. I left my livelihood and my dreams.

                        I left all that I knew to follow you. To believe in you.

I heard you tell the lost that they are loved. I heard you tell the broken that they are healed. I heard you tell the sinful that they are clean.

I watched you feed the hungry. I watched you comfort the weeping. I watched you heal the very sick, calling back to life from death itself.

I ate the bread you broke. I drank the wine you made from water.

I followed you across Galilee and I would follow you still. I believed your words and your works and your heart.

  

Jesus, you said you’d save us. I believed you.

                       

I believe that you’re the Son of God

                       

You quieted the storms.

                                    You called for justice.

                                                You loved the forgotten.

Save yourself. 

Save yourself not for those who mock you, but for those who love you.  Save yourself for us.

Don’t leave us.

Don’t leave me.